Phases of the House...Life...Whatever!

I don't know what I expected adulthood to look like, but I'm fairly certain this wasn't it!  I was very fortunate that Mom paid for almost all the chores we did.  Of course, we didn't get a set allowance so if you wanted money, you did chores!

Then a miracle occurred!  I became a neatnik.  I don't know what cleanliness was next to, but neatness was necessary!  This carried me through college and the first few years of marriage.  In fact, I was such a neatnik that I actually polished the copper bottom off of a pan.  But momentum like that can only carry you so far.  Eventually you will enter the "higher levels" of household maintenance...

1. How in heaven's name did my mother do what she did...and why can't I?

• Somehow my mother raised 3 children, with no car during the school days, kept some sanity AND never missed an appointment or had an overdue library book.
• Additionally, we were raised in an era when babies wore cloth diapers and bottles had to be sterilized.
• Family vacations were taken to cabins, so Mom had to bring all of her supplies and rainy day entertainment for everyone (no electronics and no TV).  We rarely ate out, so she was taking the WHOLE show on the road.

       2. The children are alive, what more do you want?

• I, on the other hand, barely managed with 2 kids.  In fairness, I had one who only slept 15 minutes every 2 hours and the other is an adult and still doesn't sleep through the night.
• And...if you add in homeschooling, your new standard becomes "we either educate or we clean, we can't do both!

     3. Forget the tiara, this princess wants "staff"!

• When the kids are little, their sweet little help isn't really helpful.
• When they can help, they don't want to.
• When they're teenagers, they would prefer to live anywhere but with you!

      4. In my defense, I was left unsupervised!

• Then the children move out, and other than the cat/dog hair, the house stays "cleaner".
• Additionally, you may develop a "what does it really matter" attitude.
• And there are those Hallmark movies to watch...and don't forget social media...and hobbies and, well, "who has time for housework"?

I learned that the reason my mother was so organized is that she used her planner to the fullest, and didn't waste time.  Of course, she didn't have to contend with social media, but I still think she'd have done a better job than I have.

I've learned that a family can survive on pastries, bologna sandwiches and Stouffer's entrees when they need to.  Paper plates can be "fine china" if you want them to be!

I've learned that the relationship with your family and readying your kiddos for adulthood matters WAY more than whether the kids' outfits match or whether the shoes are on the correct feet.

I've learned that as long as your house is "good enough to avoid a visit from a social worker", no one will remember whether it was clean or not.  And friends who will remember need to visit with you at a coffee shop!

I've learned that it is more important for your children to know HOW to learn and how to ask questions than it is to "help" them so that you have honor students.  After all, what's the honor in that?  Additionally it is important to give them a chance to practice adulting!

I've learned that ALL of your family need to know that you believe in them.

AND, I've learned that I enjoy being unsupervised!

Feeling blessed, how about you?

"I think I can!"

Do you think you can?

At the Family Weekend for our daughter's university, I was able to speak to the President of the university about predictors of success.  Since this is a STEM university; there are students who are exceedingly book smart, but not always successful.  This is not only because they are a STEM university;  there have been a number of articles written recently about young men and women who don't have the "keys for success".  Why do some students flourish and others fail?

The general consensus is that if a person is able to dig down and try again and even learn from what they did the first time; those are people who will succeed.  Call it grit, moxie or whatever ever you want; but be like the "little engine that could".

Did you notice that the predictor of success has nothing to do with intelligence?  It has to do with your hunger for success.  It has to do with your ability to pick yourself up and try again.  It has to do with your ability to say "well, let's not try it THAT way again" and try something different.  And it might have a little something to do with listening to those who have gone before you.  It has everything to do with SHOWING UP each and every day!

It is also important to remember that the person who crosses the finish line last...still finished.  Not everyone is going to be a shining star.  And that's a good thing, because slow and steady wins the race.

For example, our daughter worked her internship this summer.  She told the company that she was interested in any part time opportunities that might come up.  At the beginning of the semester, she hadn't heard from them, but a professor at the university asked her to be his teaching assistant.  Did you notice that?  She didn't apply for a job posting, he approached her BECAUSE she had been an involved, hard working student in his classes.  Six weeks after that, her internship company contacted her about a part time project that they need help  with.  You never know which contacts are going to bear fruit.  Always do your best.  Always show up.  And remember that you don't have to be THE best, but you do have to be YOUR best!

Feeling blessed, how about you?