Family 2013

Family 2013

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Exercise as a Religious Experience

For those of you who know me it is no great surprise that I don't like to exercise.  I don't want to sweat and I intensely dislike "feeling the burn".

But, I am not getting any younger.  Heavier yes, but no younger.  So on a lark, Don and I visited a gym 2 weeks ago.  You know, one of those places filled with people who enjoy sweating and trainers named Gunter who bear a strong resemblence to Genghis Khan.

I'm not really sure how it happened, but we walked out with a gym membership AND a personal trainng schedule.  Enter the religious experience zone.  Not because I now, miraculously love to sweat however.

The individual workouts aren't too bad.  Except for my knee which is apparently experiencing "muscle mutiny".  I don't think it's supposed to hurt to climb on the treadmill!  I have control over what I do and how many reps I do when I'm on my own.

Trainer Day (which for us is Saturday morning) is a whole different matter.  We pray as we go in "Oh Lord, give us painkillers for what we are about to experience".  The trainer pulls out these cute, brightly colored balls which look like they should be such fun.  Unfortunately they are used as a support while you do squats...massive amounts of squats.  Invoking the name of the Lord as a prayer for help is second nature now.  Medicine balls are so named because you need more medicine after using them.  Going to the mat will improve your prayer life simply because it's easier to lay there and pray than it is to rise to your feet...ever again.

The reality is, though, that I need a faster speed on the treadmill now to get my heart rate up.  I think I found a muscle under the flab on my arm today.  The scale has only budged about 1 lb. so far...but you know that muscle weighs more than the flab it replaced!

And we take comfort from Don's new money making plan--trainer voodoo dolls.  We think that we could make our first million from other baby boomers who love their trainers as much as we love ours.  And if that doesn't work, the Bible is full of plagues and pestilence that we can dream about, while we're down on the mat...improving our prayer life!

Feeling blessed, how about you?