When Did They Become Adults?

This morning I read an article about creating a "bubble list" of tasks your young adult should be able to do BEFORE they are living on their own.

As though you don't have enough to do, maintaining your home and not killing your teenagers...now you have to teach them how to do all the things that you do too?  And taking that a step further, now you'll have to go back to doing all those chores that the kids have been doing for you.  Not much of an incentive to launch those kids, is it?

When we were sending our son off to college, I made him a stack of "what if" lists.  He, of course, thought I was nuts.  But...as I explained to him, not only was he learning how to be an adult; I was learning how to be the mother of an adult.  So, he needed to cut me some slack.

Included in those lists was an "illness list".  For example one card was labeled "stuffy nose", another "upset stomach".  They were in a box with assorted over the counter meds.  Then, when illness struck (as it will on a college campus), a quick reference to the appropriate symptom and he knew which med to take.  And, I knew that when he felt crummy at 2 a.m. (because no respectable illness strikes in the light of day) he had the meds he needed.

For our daughter, I used a binder (her choice).  She wanted recipes, medical notes AND general household tips.  So we copied all her favorite recipes, made a section for the stash of OTC meds and wrote basic laundry and cleaning instructions.  She said it's like asking my advice to look at the book! 

The beautiful thing about a card file or binder (or sheet of paper on the fridge) is that your young adult has something to refer to for those obscure or infrequent needs.  Our daughter doesn't get sick often, and when she does she doesn't feel like doing research.  She doesn't have to remember what to do, because she knows where the information that she needs is.  The first couple of weeks in her new apartment, she had to consult the laundry section of her binder frequently (she was afraid she'd do something wrong).  Now she knows exactly what to do.  The secondary advantage is that I feel like I've helped her to be independent.

Now, if I could just figure out a way to teach the dog to load the dishwasher...

Feeling blessed, how about you?